I just ordered a book for a member, The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself by Erika Dillman.  When I paused to think, I recalled there was a time when I found the topic of death shivery and unwelcome.  I believe the younger you are, the harder it is (excuse the pun) to live with the thought of death.  Now, while I am not ready to embrace death as my favorite topic, I understand there is a practical nature to be considered.

When my husband went into hospice, I freaked out.  Plan a funeral? Where do I start?  And so on.   I was fortunate. A dear friend with the right background advised me in a hundred different ways, easing my mind and giving me direction.  Traditions and rules have changed radically.  Cremation has become a choice.  Ashes do not have to be buried in sacred ground.  Do not be bound by old traditions.

Knowledge is crucial to your peace of mind and your pocketbook.  I don’t know many poor funeral directors.  With that in mind, do not allow yourself to be manipulated.  Good sense and your taste should prevail.  However, if you want to make a farewell gesture, well, why not?  One final shining moment for you to leave the people you love.    Order a champagne toast if you like.  The people marked “special” in your life will find COMFORT.  Write out the specifics as an addendum to your will.

I mean no disrespect to any faith or nationality.  There are many rituals that different communities observe.  There is no right or wrong, and no judgment is involved.

This past week a dear friend lost her mother.  Off I went to the heartland of Iowa to a small community where everyone seemed to know each other.  The number of small, personal  floral offerings amazed me.  As I stood at the burial site with a wind chill of zero, I felt happy to be there.  I think the entire town came.  Is that why they call it the heartland?  Well for sure, it’s cold.

I write this not to put you off, but to alert you to your last adventure.

Lu

Want to enjoy the holidays?  In the crush of the season, there you are—running from one store to another, chugging breathlessly along the bumpy track to another holiday.  Help!

Once in a while we all need a refresher course called BEING OKAY AT THE HOLIDAYS.  At a recent library staff institute day, we had a motivational speaker who gave the staff practical ideas for giving better service to our patrons and receiving the satisfaction of helping someone.  His first tidbit of wisdom (I am not being snide) was to leave your FUNK at the door.  Roughly translated, it means whatever is going on in your life, when you come to work, “Leave your funk at the door.”  Shift your focus to the present.

I think we can apply this maxim to our lives in many ways.  I think of FUNK as those nasty feelings, fed by nasty thoughts, that invade our head and spoil our personal peace.  When we carry our FUNK around, we cannot respond to living the moment.

This same speaker spoke of the value of meditation.  Sitting tall, close out the day, and focus on your breathing.  Watch the flow of your mind and just return to breathing .  This little exercise minimizes stress.  I have tried it and vouch for the benefits.

In fact, the library offers a selection of books on this very topic.  I am now reading/using  Meditation: an In-Depth Guide  by Ian Gawler.  Don’t let the word “in-depth” throw you; it is readable and doable.

I am my own stop watch. When I tighten my jaw, crank up my engines, and hit the gas, I know this is a bad thing.  The holidays often affect us thusly.  I overcook, rethink my gift list, reposition decorations, and on and on.  Neurotic?  I am.  I stop this process and go into a calming mode.  I meditate and then realize I have a nutsy attitude.

I think most folks have moments of Holiday panic.  This dark time of year is made bright by snow, and giving, and forgetting your sister-in-law is a creep.  Let your funk go.  In the peace of the season, I send you happy thoughts and hot cocoa.

Lu

We are in the Wonder Years.  Yes, indeed.  Sometimes I wonder what’s going wrong with the world.   Other times I wonder what I will need to fix next, my foot or the faucet.  Or I wonder when cooking dinner became optional.

Now that my children are raised, I wonder how long I can use/eat peanut butter as a healthy meal.  My peanut butter sandwiches look like Dagwood Bumstead creations on multi-grain wheat.  I wonder how many of you remember Dagwood, or Prince Valiant, or the mystery man in Brenda Starr.  Oh, how I loved the Sunday Comic section.  (I Googled Prince Valiant.)  Yep.  He’s still around.

There are many ways of using “WONDER.” I like them all.  I especially like the definition that uses it as causing astonishment or appreciation.  So how can we catch time.  So easy.  One night I just couldn’t fall asleep. I turned my mind to those certain moments in my life that captured that sense of wonder.  I vividly recalled being in that moment to the point that I actually re-experienced the sweetness of that day.  I drifted off to la-la land.  Cool.

Now there is nothing paranormal about doing this.  It was not an out of body experience; I was just using recall and imagination to relive those timeless, vivid bits of happiness in my life that belong only to me.

I started collecting vibrant memories. So I caught moments in time.  Do you think this is one way to keep your memory healthy?  Who knows? I would like a bit of feedback on this experiment.   We may be making history.

Before I forget, on December 6 at 7 p.m. we are having a B.Y.O.B.  party.  Just bring one of your favorite books, and we can exchange thoughts, get new ideas, and expand our book lists.  Some of the best reads I’ve ever had came from our patrons putting me on to a new author.  Prepare. I hear it going to be a long, cold winter.

Final thought.  My grandkids and I watched Lassie Come Home.  There are two versions.  We watched both of them. Thanks to the guidance of the Kids & Teens crew for the recommendation.

I give thanks to you.

lu